At the Bottom of Everything
by crazyconversations
Summary: We're going to a party... It's a birthday party." - set after 4x08. Naomi/Emily, Naomi/Cook friendship
1. Chapter 1

"_We are going to a party…It's a birthday party." – At The Bottom of Everything – Bright Eyes_

Music echoed in Freddie's shed through that summer night. Inside its walls, they all came and went, dancing their worries away with loving whispers, alcohol and the stars. It had been so long since they had been able to share such a comfortable moment - a simple content moment together – that it felt almost surreal, but as if it were the most natural thing for them to do.

One could still feel, if they looked into some of the partiers' eyes, a lingering worry about their friend's unknown whereabouts. However, every worry, resentment, anger, jealousy, sadness and fear seemed to have been pushed aside for just a few hours, for a just a few hours of relief, for something they hadn't been able to share in several months. Peace.

It was fitting, somehow, even though Freddie couldn't be there with them, to be celebrating his birthday. His disappearance was still a mystery for all of them, but his usual lightheartedness, his usual calm and peace with the world around him seemed to somehow echo in their music, their dance moves and their carefree chattering.

There was love too, bouncing off of every wall. Somehow, most of them seemed to have found some, one could only assume Freddie would have liked that. He was one of the greatest believers in love, out of all of them. They had always known he would do anything for love. For him it had always seemed like love would conquer all and if it didn't – if it threatened to fail for any reason – then he would take it upon himself to take hold of its armor and fight for it. Fight for love. That's what Freddie did best.

Two of the girls were dancing animatedly with each other, sneaking loving kisses every time their bodies were thrown closer to each other. They couldn't help but smile, after such long months of self inflicted misery, how could they do anything else _but_ smile? It all just seemed right when their hands touched, when their bodies collided, when their lips intertwined – mostly, it all just fit every time their eyes met. And it was perfect.

Naomi looked down at Emily again, she almost felt like she had to check – make sure it was real. It was indescribable how it made her feel to be able to look at her again. To have the right to look at her, really look at her, look into her eyes with all the love she now was certain she could never hold back. It was astonishing how good it felt to finally be able to give herself entirely to someone, to be able to love and to allow someone to fully love her back. Yes, she loved Emily. And nothing else mattered.

"What is it?" Emily asked, still giggling from whatever they had been laughing about previously, and Naomi realized she had been staring. She would be doing a lot of that from now on.

"Nothing. Just had a strange urge to have some lobster." She winked and the girl playfully chuckled at her, pinching her arm lightly before placing a lingering kiss on her lips. Emily winked back at her before turning around and saying something about getting them some more drinks and well – promising some more lobster for later that night.

Naomi just stood there smiling quite stupidly to herself following her with her eyes until she realized something was moving in her clothes. It brought her back from her stupor as she patted her pockets confusedly for a while until she found her phone. She looked at the name in the screen: Cook. She looked around herself briefly – she had been so lost on being in Emily's arms that she had barely realized that he wasn't there anymore.

"Hello James! So now you've decided to start ditching our parties, Cookie? You better not be after that Arrrssia skank, coz if you are – I swear you won't see your own balls for –" She trailed off when she heard his voice on the other end.

"Naomikins…" His voice was shaking, hoarse. She heard his sad attempt at a small chuckle and knew right away something wasn't right. Despite the use of her nickname, she had never heard Cook's voice that way. It had never sounded like this before.

"Cook. What happened? Where are you?"

"Naomi…" She left the shed, hurried outside so she could hear him better. Something wasn't right. She heard a noise that sounded like he was trying to muffle a groan; she could hear his breathing harsh and unstable as he tried to gather his voice and strength. She had talked to Cook while he was unashamedly fucking some random skank – she hated whenever he would do that actually – but it had never sounded like this. No, this wasn't pleasure. Cook was in pain – she knew him enough to know that.

"Cook, where the fuck are you? Are you okay?! What the fuck-"

"Naomi…" Another sharp intake of breath, a muffled groan. "I need you to… Fuck!.. Naomi… John Foster he… Freddie – Freddie he…"

"What about Freddie, Cook?! Where the fuck are you – what's happening?!" She was almost panicked now.

"I'm at John Foster's… jesus fucking Christ!" She heard him wincing painfully. "FUCK!" She heard his groan loud and clear now. His voice was wavering. "He fucking -" Sobs. "He Fucking – Freds – He's… He's fucking…" A deep breath. "I need you to call the police. To Foster's." He somehow managed to give her an address in between more sobs and groans.

"Cook! Cook – what's happened?! Cook, who's that?! Fucking Foster, who's that fucker – Cook?! What's happened to Freddie – are you okay, Cook, are you okay?!" Her voice was shaking now too.

"Freddie's Dead, Naomi! FUCKING DEAD! John Foster he…" another sob and more deep groans. "He fucking -… Just call the fucking police Naoms, call the fucking police! And – don't tell Effy. Not now. Just fucking…. -"

"_Cook! Cook!" _Naomi froze as the line went dead in her ears.

* * *

Cook was hurt.

John Foster.

Police.

Freddie was…

Cook was hurt.

Cook's words ran over and over in front her eyes as she stood paralyzed in front of the shed, for a moment she couldn't move – couldn't even bring her fucking phone down from her ear, clinging to it as if it were the only thing that would make everything okay. Cook was hurt in some stranger's house and Freddie was – Freddie was fucking dead. No – She had to move, she couldn't just stand there.

"Shit, Shit shit!" She looked around in panic for a second when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to Thomas' screwed up worried face, she had forgotten he had been outside weezing next to the shed.

"What's happened?" He asked, concern written all over his face.

"I dunno – Cook he –" She stopped mid sentence when she heard the door open behind them and music filled her ears again for a brief moment. It was Emily, drinks in hand smiling brightly up at her. Her smile faded immediately as she caught her panicked eyes and Naomi could see a sudden flash of fear in her face.

"What's wrong?" Naomi took a big breath before answering, to gather her thoughts.

"It's Cook. He needs help – I think he's hurt – he needs help, I have to go find him – I think… I think he found Freddie."

"Freddie?! Naomi – what's happened?!"

"I need to go find him, Ems, I have to go there. I won't be long – I'll be back but I need to go help Cook and –"

"I'll go with you!"

"No! I dunno what's happened and you might – you might get hurt I don't want that to happen- I-! They'll need you here, Em!" She added when she saw the flame in Emily's eyes shooting at her. "I dunno what's happened to Freds, Cook said something but I-… Em. They'll need you here – all of them. Katie – she might need you. I have to go find Cook."

She turned to leave, to run, she had to find Cook. Emily would forgive her – she would have to – just one last time. But she had to find Cook. She heard Thomas' voice echoing through the garden before she could reach the street.

"I'll go with Naomi, Emily. Don't worry. I'll go – but – don't tell the others. Not yet – we'll call you as soon as we know more. It's no good for them to worry for nothing, not until we know more…"

She could see Emily's shocked nod from where the stood and waited until Thomas caught up with her. Naomi then broke into a run, Thomas' footsteps close behind her, running towards the address Cook had managed to give her in between groans and sobs. Cook was hurt. Cook was her friend, she never really knew why or how, but he was her friend – her brother almost – and he was hurt. He needed her.

* * *

Emily stood frozen to her spot for what seemed like several hours. Cook, hurt. Something about Freddie. What the fuck was happening. She saw the worry in Naomi's eyes, the panic, and couldn't help but to admire her genuine care for Cook – for whatever trouble Cook might be in. Cook's always getting into fights, and yeah – sometimes Naomi takes care of him. But this felt different. Somehow, the fear in Naomi's voice told her this was different. Something was horribly wrong.

She couldn't go back inside, to the party. She paced and waited outside for Naomi's call. She simply couldn't go back inside, look into Karen and Effy's eyes and say: "Everything is ok. I know nothing about Freddie. Cook's fine."

Yet she knew she couldn't just tell them the truth, Thomas was right. Whatever this was it was much more serious than they could imagine at the moment, and saying the wrong thing now could only make it worse. They needed to know better, to know what had happened before they could tell the others. Tell Karen. Tell Effy. Emily thought about Effy while she waited for Naomi's call.

* * *

They were getting closer to the address Cook gave her by now. She typed Cook's number frantically on her phone, and waited impatiently for him to answer – barely slowing down her pace. "Come on, Cook! Fucking Answer!"

She heard a grunt in the other end of the line.

"Cook! Cook! Are you okay, Cook?! I'm on my way!"

"Naomikins…" another grunt, his breathing sounded even worse than the last time they'd spoken.

"Cook. What's happened? What did John Foster do, Cook?"

"He – argh fuck! – he killed Freddie. I – I think he's down know. I knocked him down. He fucking – Freddie, Naomi – he fucking" Another loud grunt, more painful this time. "Call the police, Naoms, I… I fucking loved him Naoms…I loved him…"

The line went silent again. Cook's breathing had been shallower, he was having trouble breathing. She heard his voice even more shaky and wavering and hoarse. Cook was badly hurt.

"Fuck!" She shouted into the night. She could feel Thomas' eyes burning into her, he seemed concerned too, although ultimately much calmer than her. Tears were running freely on her face now, but she had to be brave for now, she had to find Cook and be calm and work out what the fuck was happening. Maybe she heard it wrong, she couldn't tell, all she knew was that she couldn't think about it now.

She called the police as she accelerated her steps, Thomas adjusting easily to her speed. She could barely speak between sobs and fear. The guy on the end of the line was clearly confused by her blabbering but seemed to get the point, although the fucker seemed almost reluctant to believe her accusations about John Foster. "He's got James Cook! James Cook's there – ok?! You're looking for James fucking Cook aren't you?! So get your fucking police _arse_ to the address I gave you! And bring an ambulance – he's hurt, badly."

She hung up violently and clung to her phone as she kept running.

A couple of blocks later and they got to what seemed to be Foster's house, she saw his name on a gold plate out of the corner of her eye when she ran towards the house. There was an open window on the lowest floor, leading to what seemed to be the basement. She felt Thomas rushing past her and kneeling in front of the window cautiously before she could even reach it. He looked back at her in alarm: "He's here."

Naomi rushed to his side, practically lying down on the floor to look inside. A bald man was down in one corner. He seemed unconscious. There was blood, too much blood, blood everywhere. Red. All she saw was red.

Then she spotted Cook sprawled on the ground, in a second pool of blood.

"Cook!" she squealed more than screamed and she jumped inside without thinking, running to Cook's barely conscious form.

"Cook! Wake up, Cook!"


	2. Chapter 2

_"'Coz no one wants to be alone, No more flowers..." - Cherbourg_

Emily jolted upright when her phone finally rang. She had been sitting right outside of Freddie's shed, running her shaky hand in her hair impatiently while the other clung to the phone until her knuckles were white. She didn't even bother to look at the caller's name before answering her phone hurriedly.

"Naomi? Is everything ok?!" She heard someone taking a deep breath on the other end of the line.

"Em." It was Naomi, she sighed in relief before asking the questions that had been burning in her throat since Naomi had left her waiting in the shed.

"Naomi, what's happened? Are you ok? Where are you?"

"I'm fine, I'm okay. The police are here. Ems, Cook he…"

"Is he ok? What's happened Naomi?!" Another deep breath. She could hear the police's sirens and some hurried commotion and shuffling. She heard Naomi muttering something about they being on their way and other muffled strange voices.

"We found Cook. At John Foster's." she started again, taking deep breaths at each word as if she were trying to collect her thoughts. Emily decided to let her talk, no matter how confused she was. "We're waiting for the ambulance. Cook's hurt, Ems, Cook's hurt badly. There's blood everywhere – I don't know if…" She trailed off and Emily could hear her trying to muffle a sob. She could feel panic rushing through her veins now.

"Naomi…"

"I'm okay. I'm with Cook, waiting for the paramedics… John Foster's down, I think…Cook knocked him out. Freddie he…" she trailed off again, another sob. "I think… Cook says… I found a bunch of Freddie's clothes here, Em, with… with blood on it. So much _blood_." Emily gasped loudly against her phone, remaining frozen to the spot, speechless. "Cook says… Cook says he killed him, Em. Cook says that Foster guy killed him."

"Naomi, I…" she trailed off too, completely lost. There was nothing she could say now.

"You should get the others, Em… The police might want to talk to them anyway, Karen at least… I guess they should know what's happened, Em." She heard Naomi sobbing again. She tried to concentrate long enough to get the address Naomi was giving her. She couldn't think. She couldn't do anything. Everything was so messed up.

"Hurry Ems. I might go to the hospital with Cook but-… The others should come. They're still looking for Freds." Another sob. "I love you Ems."

"Yeah. I will, I'll get the others. I love you too." It was all Emily could come up with before Naomi hung up.

Cook was hurt.

There was blood, a lot of it.

Freddie's clothes. His blood. _Lots of it_.

Freddie was dead.

Suddenly, she jerked out of her spot towards the shed, banging the door against the wall as she forced her way inside. She couldn't just stand there, she hated being the one to have to announce it, but they needed to get moving. Fucking hell, everything was so _fucking_ fucked _up_. She thought of Effy again.

She vaguely registered Katie's alarmed eyes on her as she rushed to the stereo, desperate to turn that fucking music down. She knew Katie could see the panic in her eyes, Katie could tell something was wrong.

She heard everybody's protests and complains as soon as she turned off the music, they had no clue. The only quiet ones were Katie and Effy. Katie wouldn't tear her eyes away from Emily's and Effy looked alarmed, struck in confusion.

"We have to go." Emily finally said and, as if the tone in her voice was warning enough, they all quieted down abruptly. Emily took a deep breath, this was on her now. God, she hated Naomi right now, hated her for leaving her to do this, to be the one to tell them what happened. But she knew she had to it, Naomi was only being brave by going after Cook to get help. Fuck. This was all on her.

"Where are Cook and Naomi? Where's Thomas?" someone asked, Emily couldn't focus enough to make sure who that was.

"I thought Naomi was with you Em, what's happened?" She heard Katie's voice and had to face her piercing eyes again.

"Naomi and Thomas went after Cook. He called. He's… He's hurt. He's hurt really bad." The others seemed to freeze at her words, staring at her blankly. She could tell this was enough to alarm them too, they knew something was wrong if even Thomas went to help Cook.

"Cook…Cook went looking for Freddie. He ended up at this man's house, I think he's a psycho or something, I dunno… There was a fight, Cook knocked him down but he's hurt, he's hurt really bad." There was a general gasp in her audience and she could tell they were starting to get agitated. This was definitely no bar fight. "There's something else…"

"Did he find Freddie?!" Karen interrupted her impatiently. She must have seen Emily's hesitation for in a flash she was standing right in front of her, clinging to her arms. "Did he find Freddie?!" she repeated louder this time.

"No, not yet - but… They found something else. Freddie's… Freddie's clothes with… blood. A lot of blood, Naomi says…" She trailed off at Karen's look. Her face was as pale as a ghost, her eyes bulging from their sockets in disbelief. She felt more than heard Effy collapsing to the floor next to her, her face also pale, tears running through her face as she stared up at her. A faint and shrill scream escaped from Effy's mouth, a chilling sound that sounded almost animal-like and which seemed to make her insides rip apart.

"Where is he?!" Karen said, her voice also shrill and shaky "Where is he?!" louder now as she clung harder and harder to Emily's arms, digging her nails in her skin. "At John Foster's." Emily said, hurriedly murmuring an address. She heard Effy scream louder now, her voice still as wild as before. Emily thought of Effy and what would become of her.

The first one out of the door was Karen; Effy followed her less than a second behind. Emily felt more than saw the air rushing past her as they ran outside towards the street. Pandora looked at her briefly, seemed to wake up from her stupor and ran after Effy shouting her name. Katie threw one last concerned look at her before taking off as well, kicking her heels off before she left.

Emily looked around until she spotted JJ. He was paler than the moon by now and his eyes were locked on some imaginary target. Emily moved closer to him in concern, touching his arm lightly. Showing him her tits now would be of no help, certainly. He closed his eyes, frowning in what seemed like deep concentration.

When he opened them again, she didn't see any confusion or panic in them like they usually were when he got locked on or under stress. They weren't blank either as they had been just a second before. They were determined and strangely focused on hers, as if in that moment JJ had decided that nothing else mattered: He needed to focus, for Cook…for Freddie.

She felt herself being pulled outside forcefully as JJ took her hand in his and rushed to catch up with the others, Emily eventually adjusting to his speed.

* * *

Naomi could feel the tears running uncontrollably on her cheeks. She could feel her clothes clinging to her skin, soaked red in Cook's blood as she held on to him as if her life depended on it. She ran one of her hands through his hair murmuring his name in hope that he would somehow open his eyes, smile that cheeky smile he always had, jump up on his feet and tell her it was all a joke and that was just ketchup and that Freddie was standing behind the door waiting for them. Although, if he did do that, he would probably end up in the hospital anyway, if this had all been a joke she would kick the life out of him.

But it wasn't a joke. And she could feel his weak pulse beneath her fingers, she could feel his irregular breathing against her palms, she could see his eyelids barely fluttering as he seemed to fight to remain awake.

"Cook, Cook...wake up, Cook..." She begged as she ran her hand through his face again, cleaning up as much blood as she could with her sleeve. She heard him moaning, groaning a bit. He was still there, not fully awake, but he was still there with her. This was enough to slow down her tremors, reduce the shudders running up and down her spine so she could concentrate better on what was happening around her. Cook was a fighter; Cook wouldn't go down like this. Cook would do anything, anything he could to be alive so he could live at his fullest.

She looked around at the police running up and down the room, documenting evidence and what not, some of them were crouched down in front of Foster, trying to stabilize him probably as they waited for the ambulance to come.

A few officers had been around her, trying to check if they could assist Cook in any way before the paramedics showed up, they only managed to patch him a bit before hurrying around the house looking for Freddie.

One of the officers walked over to her again, kneeled down in front of her, Cook was lying between them.

"Are you ok, Miss?" She glared at him.

"Where's the ambulance?"

"They're on their way."

"Have you found Freddie yet?!"

"No... Are you sure of what-"

"Yes I'm fucking sure! Cook couldn't lie about that, and look at the clothes – did you see the fucking clothes or were you too _fucking busy_ taking care of that _murderer_ over there?!" He looked away and didn't say anything more. Naomi glared at him then lowered her eyes back at Cook's still form.

Soon she could hear the ambulance's sirens coming in from the open window, her head jolted and she could hear her neck crack as she looked expectantly outside for any sign of doctors of any kind. She saw paramedics hurrying in through the door on the other side of the room; soon half of them were all standing around Cook pushing her aside. She backed up against a wall, bringing her hand to her face while she stood impotently as they fixed Cook up on a stretcher, an oxygen mask on his face.

One of the officers pulled her outside waking her up from her daze. She realized she was still crying, her hands and clothes both soaking in blood. She followed the paramedics straight towards the ambulance, barely registering it when the officer told her something about needing to ask her some questions. She snapped something back about answering any question only when she knew Cook was safe and that she was _fucking_ riding that ambulance with him.

In a blink, Thomas was at her side talking to the officer in a more composed manner than she felt herself capable of. He nudged her in the ribs before she could get in the ambulance. She spotted a flash of red hair from the corner of her eye.

* * *

It didn't take them long to arrive at the place Naomi had indicated.

As they turned a corner, they could see the police cars and ambulances rounding around one of the houses. It had to be there. The others had already reached the thin barrier of officers who were keeping some order on the street.

Emily saw Karen fighting with one of them, her arms were flying wildly around her and she could her high-pinched cries and pleas as she tried to claw her way past him. She could hear her crying Freddie's name desperate to get any news from her brother. She could almost hear her tears too, she could sense them running freely on her cheeks as Karen clung her fingers on the man's arms.

Emily felt a few tears prickling on her own cheeks too.

She spotted Effy; she was shaking one of the officers too. Her pleas were shrill and chilling just as they had been back in the shed. She saw her stiffen then, freeze where she was standing as she seemed to have spotted something over the man's shoulder.

Emily then saw her friend collapse wordlessly to the ground; saw her curl up against the nearest bush her eyes closed. Suddenly, the street was filled with a scream that made the windows shake, louder than any of the sirens. Emily could almost feel Effy's insides breaking into a million pieces, shattering against the floor as she clawed to her hair.

She saw Pandora rush to her side, holding on to Effy's hands, holding her close. She saw Katie run up to Effy too joining in Pandora's effort. She saw their tears overflowing their bodies.

They were closer now, her and JJ. He still held her hand tight in his. His fingernails were clinging to her skin and it would have hurt if she had been able to feel anything at all.

Thomas had reached Karen, trying to calm her down and explain the situation to the officer. Karen stumbled her way towards where Emily was standing, her face streaming with uncontrollable tears falling over her crumpled lips. She collapsed in JJ's arms, her tears flowing against his shirt.

JJ seemed to come out from his stupor, letting go of Emily's hand for the first time since they had left the shed. She saw him frowning in concentration again, saw several tears escape his closed eyelids, before he clung to Karen's back and they both seemed to crumble, kneeling to the ground as they held each other close.

Emily's eyes started darting around searching for the familiar blonde hair, her vision obscured by her own tears.

She finally spotted her, walking towards the ambulance nearest to them. She had a short glimpse of Cook being carried inside the vehicle on a stretcher. There was blood. So much blood. Too much blood.

She broke into a run towards the blonde hair, her path oddly undisturbed by the officers until she reached her target. They seemed to be busying themselves around her friends. She saw another man on a stretcher out of the corner of her eye too, he was covered in blood. A strange rage seemed to build up in her insides at him sight, _John Foster_, she registered as she heard one of the paramedics shouting his name to the others.

She almost tripped on her own feet when she reached her target. Naomi's clothes were covered in blood, blood - so much blood. She looked over her girlfriend's body finding it excruciatingly hard to find any spot not covered in blood. Cook's blood, she assumed. So much blood. So much _fucking_ blood.

All she saw was red.

She realized she had basically frozen when Naomi touched her arm lightly.

Emily reacted instantly, pulling the blonde into an almost painful embrace. She tied her arms around her neck, as Naomi hugged her back equally forceful, her delicate hands clinging to Emily's back. She could feel Naomi's body shaking with sobs against her.

"Naoms..." She closed her eyes, letting more tears run through her cheeks.

"I have to go with Cook" Naomi said after what seemed like a lifetime but was probably only a few seconds. She pulled away from Emily, brushing a streak of her hair away from her face. She let her fingers linger on Emily's cheek. "Thomas will explain everything...Cook, he needs me..."

"Ok" was all Emily could choke in response. She understood, of course she understood. There was so much blood.

"I'll call you from the hospital... I love you, Ems." Were Naomi's last words before she jumped in next to Cook's frail body and the ambulance drove away.

Emily took several breaths to compose herself before walking away from her spot. One of the officers caught up with her asking what she knew about the situation. She mumbled everything she knew about it, it wasn't much but she hoped it could help.

"Were you related to any of the subjects involved?"

"We're friends. I mean – I'm Cook and Freddie's friend. Freddie McClair. Have you found him yet?"

"We're doing our best, Miss. Fitch. Did you know Dr. John Foster?" Something in that name made her insides twitch.

"No I don't think... I might have heard his name before, um..." She wracked her memory, somewhere she vaguely remembered Katie mentioning that name "Isn't he...a psychiatrist of some sort?"

"Yes, do you know him?"

"I think... I think he was Effy's doctor. Effy Stonem." She nodded briefly towards Effy's writhing form. The man seemed to scribble the information on his note pad. "She's Freddie's girlfriend. We're all friends."

"Right. Do know who called it in? We got an anonymous call from this girl, gave us a fake name – Naomi Campbell - do you have any idea who that could be?" Emily scoffed in his face, adding even more anger to her built up frustration. She stared at him with venomous eyes before answering curtly.

"Yeah. That's my girlfriend. She came here to help Cook after he called her. And that's her _fucking_ real name." She glared at him one last time before walking away towards her friends. _Fucking wanker_, she added under her breath as she left him.

Thomas and Emily seemed to act as a buffer between their friends and the officers for the rest of the night. They would try and explain everything the others couldn't. Between Karen's painful sobs and Effy's heart-wrenching cries, it was all they could do not to break into tears themselves. Emily spent her time running from a friend to the other, Katie being of great help as she seemed to be holding Effy whole as if letting her go would mean letting her shatter entirely never to be fixed again. She occasionally snarled at the officers who would try to push Effy for answers.

JJ remained stone cold for most of the time, intermittently having a couple of anger fits or just holding Karen in his arms sobbing along with her. Pandora wouldn't leave Effy's side even if she burst into flames.

By the time they were all rattled up at the police station to officially give their statements; all Emily could do was cling to her phone waiting for Naomi's phone call. She hoped Cook was fine. She hoped they would find Freddie. She hoped they would find Freddie's body. She hoped Effy would be fine.

Katie and Pandora stayed with Effy that night. Karen wouldn't leave the police station. JJ stayed with her, Thomas offered to keep them company so Emily could catch some sleep.

Emily thought about blood before falling asleep on a chair next to Naomi's at the hospital. There was so much blood.

The last thing she saw as her eyes fluttered shut was red. So much red.

---


	3. Chapter 3

_"Sun in your eyes, the heat is in your hair, they seem to hate you because you're there and I need a friend. Oh, I need a friend to make me happy, not stand here on my own." Black, Wonderful Life_

Naomi couldn't remember falling asleep that night. She supposed she must have snoozed off though, when she turned around to find a soundly asleep Emily on the chair next to her - she certainly hadn't been there last time she had checked. Naomi took a few moments to stare at her girlfriend's sleeping form. Her eyebrows were knit in an uncomfortable frown, grumbling something in her sleep.

Her _girlfriend_. _Her_ girlfriend. It felt good to be able to say those words again. For the past few months she hadn't dared saying them, she didn't feel like she had a right to do so. She closed her eyes as the memories of the past year rushed to her mind. She couldn't bear to think of it, not now. She opened her eyes focusing instead on Emily's soft snores.

She brushed the red hair away from her sleeping face, running her fingers softly against her cheek careful not to wake her up. She was probably exhausted after the night's events. Fuck, she was exhausted after the night's events.

The thought brought her back down to the current situation. She forced her eyes away from her, instead resting one of her hands on Emily's.

Cook lay still in the hospital bed in front of her, the nurses had washed the blood from him but the painful memories remained scarred on his face. He had needed countless sutures, a heavy load of pain killers and bandages and a surgery on his abdomen due to some internal bleeding. Naomi shuddered at the mere reminder of it.

The surgery had taken several hours, Cook had several broken ribs one of which had stabbed one of his organs causing even more bleeding that he was already enduring; the doctors had to fix the ribs, put organs back to their place, stop the bleeding and God knows what else… One of the residents went and came reporting back to Naomi throughout the surgery, every up and down of it.

It had killed her. She vaguely remembered rocking back and forth in her seat, hugging her legs against her chest as she let her head fall between her knees. Eventually she had stopped crying, Naomi suspected that it had been from lack of any more tears to shed that night. Instead, she'd just stood there staring into nothing, letting her mind go blank for several hours so as to avoid some sort of mental breakdown.

They had finally taken Cook to an individual room, carefully handcuffing him to the side of the bed. Naomi had cursed heavily at the accompanying police officer as she watched him tying his friend, she had shouted about how he was right out of surgery and deserved nothing less but rest and peace and not some _fucking_ and _ridiculous sodding_ abuse of _conservative_ shitting _capitalist_ _authoritarianism_.

She'd realized that she was making little sense, but it didn't matter then and it didn't matter now. It was still absurd that Cook had to be tied to his bed despite the officer's claims about "_procedure_" and him being some sort of "runaway _criminal_". The doctors weren't even sure if he was _fucking_ going to make it yet, he could _die _at any blinking _sodding_ moment and the _tossers _cared whether or not he could jump up from his _fucking_ bed and run out to god knows where. _Jesus fucking Christ, shitting fucking wanking dicks_.

She really was making barely any sense at all.

There was also the fact that she had to repeat her name at least twice to every _tosser_ who came to either ask her questions about Cook or enquire on her relationship with him. _It's Naomi fucking Campbell_, she had snarled at most of them, crossing her arms in frustration, well, more like to avoid punching the light out of a police officer.

She had told the hospital she was his cousin though, a surprisingly helpful nurse had given her the tip so she could be more informed about Cook's condition, apparently being a relative made a big difference. They hadn't contacted Cook's mum, she figured, or maybe they had but she didn't care enough to show up. She didn't think Cook would have liked that anyway. She considered calling Paddy, she still remembered him from when Cook had dropped him off at her place before turning himself in for the police.

He had turned himself in for her. He had taken all the guilt for her, she remembered with a stabbing pain in her gut. Cook had risked being locked up for several months, years maybe, for her.

He was her friend. Cook was possibly the best friend she had ever had, maybe the only one. What she had with Emily was a relationship, love. Yes, she could now say that they were best friends too. But with Cook, it was different. It was as if nothing either of them could possibly do would ever fuck up their friendship; somehow they had grown from being mere acquaintances to, well, basically siblings. The both of them they would usually cock things up – were pretty good at it too. But it always amazed her when she realized that the one thing she could never fuck up in her life was her relationship with Cook because, somehow, it had happened and it was there to stay. She loved Cook and she suspected she would never be able to explain why. And she knew he loved her too.

And here she stood, sitting impotently next to him and there was nothing she could do about it. And it killed her. It fucking killed her.

She let her eyes wander over Cook's distorted features, it was late in the morning by now and the sun was shining through the window bringing his face's tiniest details to light. He looked peaceful, she thought, despite the uncountable number of tubes and all of sort of bandages and sutures over his body.

He looked peaceful.

She let her hand caress his face for a moment, careful not to disturb anything. She allowed her fingers to run down his arm until she rested her hand on his. His knuckles were still red; it looked as if most of its skin had been ripped away during the fight. She tightened her grip on his hand.

Something seemed to shuffle next to her, bringing her out of her thoughts.

"Hey." Emily's was tone was tender, her voice a bit hoarse from either sleep or from the previous night, Naomi couldn't tell.

"Hey." She answered, looking at the girl sitting next to her with a small smile, her lips twitching ever so slightly. Her red hair looked beautiful in that light. Emily leaned in, kissing her softly on the forehead before pulling her into a brief hug.

"How is he?" She looked down at Naomi's hand on Cook's apparently finding it endearing, then at his face as she pulled her chair closer to the bed. She doubled over, reaching to stroke Cook's arm. She left her hand there.

"I dunno, I'm not sure." Naomi answered truthfully. "He had to go into surgery right after we got here." Emily's eyes looked up at her, a faint flash of surprise and concern passing through her figure. She brought her eyes back down to all the tubes around his body. "Doctors said he should be fine, but they are not sure yet…He's on a lot of pain killers, it all depends on how he responds to the intervention"

Emily nodded. She straightened herself up against her chair, turning her body towards the blonde. She took her hand in hers, cupping her cheek with other. She dried a couple of tears Naomi hadn't realized she had cried with her thumb before giving her a sweet peck on the lips.

"You should go home. Rest. You've been here all night." She said, looking straight into her eyes. Naomi shook her head, her throat felt tight and it hurt to speak. "Naomi…"

"I don't want to leave. Besides you've been up as long as I have – you should go home. The police station must have been exhausting and you were running around, I was just _sitting_ here and –"

"Naomi. I'm not letting you stay here."

"I'm not leaving." She said looking straight back into Emily's eyes. The redhead sighed; she realized there was little she could say to convince her.

They stayed like that for a couple more hours as far as Naomi could tell, holding hands in Cook's hospital room. They talked very little except for when Naomi ranted for an indeterminate amount of time, cursing and clenching her fists while she shot daggers with her eyes at the officer sitting outside of the room after Emily made a short slightly outraged comment on the handcuffs. Emily had only smiled at her political outburst, rubbing her arm until she finally settled back down.

There were startled out of their comfortable cuddling when someone opened the door. It was JJ, standing next to a nurse who had apparently come to check on Cook.

"You two should go home. You obviously haven't slept, I'll stay with him." He said awkwardly walking inside his eyes fixed on Cook. Naomi started to protest before Emily silenced her.

"How are you, Jay? How's Karen?"

"I'm fine, thank you Emily. I mean, I'm still shocked at the recent discoveries and the night was very tiring, it was a certainly unexpected turn of events but –" He sighed. He seemed too tired or just emotionally drained to continue with his usually uncontrollable rants. "I'm fine. Karen's back at her house, I slept in F – " Another sigh. He closed his eyes. "I slept in the shed. You two, however, haven't slept properly and should go to bed now."

Naomi started to protest again, crossing her arms and pouting like a five year old who was denied to take her new teddy bear on vacation. She almost considered asking if she could wrap Cook in a blanket and carry him home with her. She did, murmured it under her breath. Emily's lips curled up only ever so slightly, it was a sad almost-smile. It would probably have been more endearing but the severity of the situation only made Naomi sound insane, she did feel quite out of her mind today anyway.

The nurse looked up at them for the first time since she had entered the room, a sympathetic smile playing on her lips. Naomi registered it was the same nurse who had helped her through the night; she made a note to herself to remember her name and thank her later.

"It's fine. He's in a lot of meds; he'll be out for several hours. You shouldn't worry, go home, get some rest, and come back in the morning. He'll be fine." She said. Emily nodded tugging at Naomi's sleeve as if that would be enough to convince her.

Naomi fidgeted in her seat for a moment, crossing her legs too as if determined not to move before sighing and relaxing her limbs against Emily's persistent tugging. She hated the idea of Cook waking up without her being there, she did owe him, but there was really nothing she could do. Besides, JJ was there and he would warn her if everything came up, she reasoned. She finally gave in, standing up and gathering her things before leaving hand in hand with Emily.

"You. Call me if he wakes up. Call me." She pointed at JJ staring straight into his eyes. He nodded a bit awkwardly before taking her place next to Cook's bed.

Naomi sighed one last time before putting her arm around Emily's shoulder and walked out of the room.

As she finally lay on her bed – no – their bed, cuddling up against Emily's warm body, she thought of Cook. She thought of blood. She thought of Freddie. She thought of Cook and Effy and Cook.

Naomi wouldn't have fallen asleep if she hadn't been wrapped in Emily's arms, but she did eventually succumb to her exhaustion and her girlfriend's protection. She dreamt of red. Emily's red hair.


	4. Chapter 4

"_I need a friend__ - __oh, I need friend__to make me happy,__not so alone.......__ " – Black, Wonderful Life_

Effy was cold. She could feel her body shivering uncontrollably under the blankets; her hands were taken over by violent tremors as she adjusted herself on her bed. Effy was cold. It took her a moment to register where she was, she didn't remember falling asleep but it didn't seem to matter. It had only been blackness, a vast dark space behind her closed eyelids as she had lain on her bed too tired to cry, too drained to move a single muscle.

The darkness had scared her yet she couldn't get away from it. It was only black around her, an endless vacuum where she had been trapped and seemed incapable to wake up from until now.

She looked around, her limbs still shaking violently as she felt shivers running up and down her spine. She vaguely noted that her teeth where knocking against each other in her effort to recognize the room. It looked familiar as if something inside herself told her that she had spent many hours there before, maybe she had even lived there. But it felt strange, suffocating and she couldn't push away the feeling of being trapped in an unknown room too small for a person yet big enough to give her a sense of infinite emptiness.

She spotted a picture of a young man and a girl on the desk, his dark brown hair and blue eyes staring at her. She could feel a rush of emotions running in her veins as she studied his features, his eyes, yet something was blocking her mind and she couldn't tell who that boy was. The girl looked familiar too. She supposed that could have been her, in another life perhaps. She was smiling. She couldn't remember ever smiling. She didn't think she would ever smile.

She looked away from the picture when she felt two soft weights across her body. Effy turned her eyes directly to her side and it didn't surprise her to see someone lying there, the voices bouncing off inside her skull made sure to let her know that they would never leave her alone. She was taken hostage by them and she knew there was nothing she could do about it.

But the sleeping form next to her didn't feel like it wanted to hurt her, unlike the many shrieks of pain and violent commands being shouted in her head. Instead, it looked familiar, welcome…Maybe someone she had loved. Effy couldn't imagine herself ever loving anyone. She brushed the blonde hair away from the person's face with shaky hands making every effort she could to place that person, she wanted to know who they were, she needed to know. She didn't want to face the voices alone.

"Panda" she heard herself say, only a soft shaky breath escaping her lips. The name tasted sweet in her mouth.

She felt something move on the other side of the bed and she turned her head to face a couple of brown eyes staring down at her. The girl in front of her rubbed her palms against her eyes propping herself on her elbow, Effy saw dark circles under them and supposed she had just woken up from an unquiet sleep. Something inside her told her that she knew her too, her presence was comfortable. Maybe they had been friends. Effy couldn't remember having friends; she didn't think she ever would – except maybe in some very distant past, maybe in another life.

"Hey." The girl said, opening her eyes again to stare into Effy's. She wracked her brain for a name, almost panicking at not being able to place the person lying next to her – she probably would have panicked if it wasn't for the strange sense of familiarity in her voice. Maybe she could trust her. Maybe _she_ could help her. "How are you?"

Effy couldn't answer. She looked at the girl's features under the sunlight that seemed to creep inside the room. Her dark red hair shone in the light, disheveled from sleep. She looked like she had been crying. Effy turned her face away from her, looking up at the white ceiling instead. It looked empty. She felt empty.

"Effy…" she heard the girl say, as she took her hand in hers. Effy couldn't remember anything.

She shivered in pain as a strange feeling rushed through her constricted veins, she knew something terrible had happened the night before, or so she thought, something terrible had happened that had suddenly taken something from her, something that she could never replace. It had made her empty. It had made her helpless. Yet she couldn't know, she couldn't remember. The images in her mind were blurred, only darkness, black and strong red patches flashing in and out of her sight. Fear. Betrayal. Guilt. Loneliness. Love.

The voices in her head grew louder, shrieks and shouts and tortures of all kinds playing in front of her eyes. They were getting closer, she could tell. They were clawing their way in from that other world, that terrifying world she had run away from. She could feel a chilling spiting breeze as they finally breached through, making a tiny opening in whatever it was that was keeping them away from her.

They were getting closer.

No one could protect her.

This time, no one could drive them away.

This time, _he_ couldn't drive them away.

* * *

Naomi opened her eyes slowly, running a hand through her face as she tried to wake herself up. It had been an odd dream and she still felt eerily shaken from it. She had dreamt of Emily first, of being happy in Emily's embrace. Then she had seen Cook's pained face, disfigured by the beating he had endured. She remembered feeling rage and sadness overwhelming her as she saw flashes of that psycho holding a bat in a dark room. She had shouted at him, she had tried to reach him, to beat him the same way he had beaten Cook. The same way he had beaten Freddie. But she couldn't get anywhere near.

Instead she saw what looked like young Karen and Effy running at him with stuffed animal toys and beating him to the ground. He had then turned into some sort of monster-looking human-sized toy, some sort of vile creature with no eyes and the skin texture of a rubber chicken. It was ridiculous.

She remembered herself shrinking to Karen and Effy's size - albeit their clothing that looked just like the ones they always wore, they looked like they were about 6 or 7 years old. She joined them, a stuffed colourful caterpillar on her hand as the three of them seemed to destroy the ugly looking monster toy into a thousand pieces of cotton fluff and ripped plastic. The others had joined them too, they all looked tiny with rosy cheeks and cheeky smiles, and she remembered Pandora had a lollipop in her mouth.

Then Freddie had appeared from behind a door and they had all rushed to him before everything turned black again. And Naomi saw blood all around her and Cook's broken face lying in a hospital bed, and Effy broken in the street, and Freddie's lifeless body…

She was glad she had woken up, only a few drops of cold sweat running on her forehead.

She heard the door open and she looked up to see Emily sliding under the blanket next to her. She pulled her in for a kiss, keeping their foreheads together.

"How are you? You were mumbling about caterpillars and giraffes in your sleep. Something about a weird monster too, I dunno…" Emily said letting a small smile lighten her features.

"Yeah… Just my brain being oddly incoherent." She rolled her eyes at her and lied back against her pillow. She closed her eyes willing herself to forget the darkest parts of the dream; apparently Emily hadn't heard her mumble about that. She looked at her watch briefly, it was early in the night and she could see the room getting darker as the sun was setting lower and lower in the skyline. She hadn't slept for too long.

She felt Emily moving in the bed, propping herself on her elbow as she brushed Naomi's hair away from her face.

"Katie just called…" Emily whispered as she ran her hands in Naomi's hair, her voice was small and shaky. Naomi looked up at her in concern.

"How is she? How are the others?" she asked, she could tell her voice sounded small too, almost as if they both were too afraid to bring up the subject. Emily sighed and Naomi could almost feel her breath on her face.

"Katie's fine, shaken obviously…" She took a deep breath, she looked like she was trying to blink away most of the memories from the night before. "She spent the night, well, most of the day at Effy's. Pandora and Katie took care of her apparently…Katie sounded scared, Naoms."

"Scared for Effy?" Naomi asked, propping herself up on her elbow too and reaching out to caress Emily's arm.

"Yeah." Emily closed her eyes again, letting a couple of tears run on her cheeks. Naomi brushed them away with her thumb before pulling Emily against her body, her head resting in the crook of her neck. "Katie says…Katie says she isn't talking, she just isn't making any sort of sound anymore. She just lies there, staring up into nothing and… She just looks beaten."

Naomi let out a sigh as she stroked Emily's vibrant red hair. She hadn't been close to Freddie yet she could still feel a stabbing pain when she thought of him, of him being… She could barely bring herself to think it. She imagined how it felt for Katie, for JJ, for Karen…for Effy.

She had just been released again, and now it wasn't like they could just take her back to that hospital. She wouldn't want to go. As her friends, they wouldn't let her go back there. Not to the same place where she had met the man that had turned their lives upside down with such brutality it had left them breathless.

"Yesterday she looked so…She looked in so much pain, Naomi, writhing and shrieking and…She looked like she was under a fucking _cruciatus_ curse, Naomi." Naomi almost let herself chuckle at Emily's reference, her girlfriend had made her read all the volumes of that book despite her protests and although it seemed childish to admit it, it sounded like a good image to describe Effy's state despite the seriousness of the situation.

She let Emily rest against her chest for a few more minutes, letting her calm down for a bit. She knew she wasn't just concerned for Effy – of course she was concerned, Emily always worried about other people – but they had never been close. No, Emily was worried for Freddie, for a friend that had been taken away from them violently. For her sister who wouldn't let herself feel until her emotionally weaker friend had recovered. She was worried for everything and everyone who had been affected that night. Emily was worrying for the others so she wouldn't have to feel her own pain.

She kissed the top of Emily's head lightly. She felt her relax under her touch, taking a deep breath against her neck.

"How are you?" Naomi asked, kissing Emily's hair again, rubbing her back trying to make her feel as comfortable as possible in her arms. She knew she needed to make Emily talk about her own feelings, how she felt… She couldn't let her just worry about the others, she didn't have to be the strong one. Emily had been there for her when she looked after Cook, she needed to be here for Emily now, to hold her close and let her cry.

"I don't know…" Naomi felt that it was the most honest answer Emily could give her. She didn't even know how she felt herself. "The night was just too…eventful."

"Yeah…Eventful." Naomi repeated, she was now drawing little patterns on Emily's back.

"We…we went to the police station after you left with Cook…" Emily started again, her voice was hoarse. She didn't want to talk about her feelings; maybe she wasn't capable of doing so yet. Naomi decided to let her.

"They brought us in to take our statements, how we knew Freddie, Cook, Foster…" she continued, she was now tracing patterns against Naomi's stomach too. "They said they still hadn't found Freddie's…" she heard Emily swallow a sob. "They said that with the amount of blood they found in the house and on the clothes…They said that, Freddie's probably dead… It's only a matter of time before they figure out where that man hid him."

Her voice sounded strained as if every word was hurting her. Naomi wanted to make the pain go away, but she didn't know how – she didn't even think it was possible. So she just held Emily closer.

* * *

"_I have never known the likes of this, I've been alone and I have missed things and kept out of sight - but other girls were never quite like this" – I've Just Seen a Face, The Beatles_

They woke up very early the next morning. When they opened their blinds, they realized the sun hadn't even come out yet. They didn't care that it was barely five in the morning though; neither of them had slept very well. Naomi certainly didn't feel like staying in bed any longer if her girlfriend's arms weren't around her.

So they both jumped out of bed and after Emily had finally managed to push Naomi under the shower assuring her that Cook could wait a couple more hours, she went down to the kitchen to make some tea.

She turned the kettle on and then moved to the fridge considering what she could make for breakfast. She couldn't expect Naomi to cook; she was shit in the kitchen when she was at her best, so all Emily could do today was avoid having to deal with a cooking disaster, like an explosion or something equally destructive.

She sighed when she realized that the only things left in the fridge were half empty bottles of alcohol, a painful reminder of their last months together. She closed her eyes, determined on forbidding herself to think about that, they were going through enough and their relationship was certainly not something Emily wanted to think about at the moment. She knew there was a lot they needed to talk about, things weren't as simple as she wished, but for now they were happy together. Mostly, they needed to be happy in each other's arms so they could handle the rest.

She opened her eyes again, pushing her thoughts aside. She looked around the fridge, moving the countless bottles of beer or whatever Naomi and Cook had been drinking in the past week. After throwing away about five cartons of expired milk and another four empty vodka bottles, she finally managed to find the eggs Naomi had bought a couple of days before.

They had never gotten around eating them and they still looked fine so Emily decided to pull out a pan and just make some scrambled eggs. She could feel her stomach grumble when she remembered neither of them had eaten anything for over twenty four hours.

Naomi soon appeared at the bottom of the stairs, her hair wet from the shower. She had only bothered to throw an old t-shirt over her underwear and Emily couldn't help but notice how attractive her legs looked when she walked in the kitchen. She had missed being able to look at her like that, to allow herself to stare and lust over her girlfriend. She let her eyes wander over the girl's body, unconsciously licking her lips. As if the mere sight of her was enough, all her inner thoughts about having to discuss their relationship evaporated. They had the rest of their lives to talk.

"Ems. Hey, Ems – you there?" She looked up startled; Naomi was waving her hands in front of her face trying to get her attention. She felt her cheeks flush as she realized she might have been staring for way too long and had missed whatever Naomi was telling her.

She was about to say something, anything to explain her current embarrassment but when she looked up at Naomi's face she saw her smirking brightly at her, wiggling her eyebrows in a ridiculously excessive suggestive manner. Emily giggled, her cheeks still flushed, but before she could say anything Naomi's lips were pressed against hers and she let herself melt under her touch.

They pulled away several minutes later, breathless and with strands of hair pointing pretty much in every direction. Emily realized she had missed their impromptu morning make out sessions; she would do anything to wake up to that every morning. The eggs, however, would respectfully disagree. It was a bit ironic that Emily had decided to cook so they could actually eat but the end result had been about as bad as if she had let Naomi near any cooking utensil.

"Shit." She said looking down at the miserable blackened bits of what once used to be clear white eggs. She would blame her culinary slip on Naomi's – well – heated intervention. She wondered if _her _interventions weren't, in fact, the real reason behind Naomi's destructive cooking skills.

"And I love you too." The blonde said, moving over to grab some cups for them in the top cupboard. Emily never seemed to be able to reach them without her help. She poured some tea in each of the cups, picking Emily's favourite one for her, and then settled down at the table.

"Yeah, well – thanks to you, we're not having any breakfast." Emily answered playfully "Those -" she pointed to the pan "- were the only thing edible in this house. So now, we have to starve because nothing is open yet."

"Yeah, well, you still love me. You can't deny it Fitch." She responded, trying to look unfazed as she pulled out a newspaper but failing miserably as Emily could still see her lips curling up in a smile.

"No I don't." Emily decided to just continue their pleasantries; it was a nice break from the dark cloud of events that seemed to have settled above their lives in the past forty eight hours. "Right now, I'd love eggs. And cheese. In fact, right now I love cheese. Not you, Campbell."

"Oh, Fitch." Naomi shook her head comically. "You know, you can't fool me. In fact, I have written proof that you do love me more than you love cheese." She stood up from her chair, pointing dramatically towards the blackboard in the hall as if it were a case-breaking piece of evidence in a murder case.

"As you can see, the subject – here, well, you – has confessed under official record. Therefore, you are now contradicting your previous official statement and could be charged with obstruction of the law for lying in court." She looked confused for a moment as if she weren't sure if what she said made sense.

"Which means that you have just been proven guilty of loving me more than cheese." She sat back down proudly. "Lawyer-ed."

Emily had to bite hard on her tongue so as not to burst out laughing at her girlfriend's performance. Instead, she quirked one of her eyebrows and stared at her defiantly.

"Is that so? Because, in that case your honour" She leaned in dangerously close to Naomi's face, her hand lightly running up Naomi's naked thigh and stopping to play with the hem of her shirt. She saw her licking her lips, her breath caught in her throat. "I might love you more than cheese but now I feel like having some gateau. And until I have some - you – are not getting any." She pulled away just before their lips touched, leaving her girlfriend successfully flustered on her chair.

"But – But we're lobsters. We're supposed to mate for life. You know!" She mimicked lobster claws holding each other with her fingers, moving her arms around to imitate some kind of lobster walk. Emily almost choked in her tea, failing miserably at looking composed. "So, we should start already – shouldn't we?"

"Well, if we're mating for life, I really don't see what the rush is..." The redhead merely pointed out, taking another sip of tea and pulling the newspaper towards her end of the table so she could read the headlines.

"I might have some garibaldi's up in our room." Emily actually laughed as she watched Naomi run up the stairs to get her the biscuits.

It felt good to be able to joke with her again, to actually see Naomi smile when not under the influence of drugs and alcohol. She felt like she hadn't smiled in months herself, at least not an honest smile. It felt good, and it helped them forget everything that was going on around them. In fact, just being able to be with Naomi, really be with her, was enough to make Emily forget about the rest of the world. And really, she was glad she'd ran up the stairs so promptly because she had been about to give in to her pleas and discard breakfast completely. She probably would give in before even opening the pack of Garibaldi's anyway.

Her train of thought was interrupted however, as she saw Naomi's face when she entered the kitchen again. Her phone was hanging from her hand and her expression was much more serious now.

"What's happened?" Emily asked concerned, she didn't dare to move from her seat.

"JJ called." She said. Her voice was small and shaky.

"Naomi, what's happened?" She stood up now, urgently rushing towards her girlfriend.

"Cook has to go back into surgery." She was shaking. Emily held on to her shoulders and helped her sit down on the chair next to them. "'Says he woke up 'bout half an hour ago, didn't remember much but then he started to feel a lot of pain and he shouldn't be in pain, so the doctors figured they had to take him back into surgery so they could fix whatever's going wrong and" she swallowed a sob "He's awake now, under pain killers but awake."

"When's the surgery, Naomi?"

"JJ says they'll take him in about an hour. They're still prepping him." Emily didn't hear the rest of the sentence; she was already running up the stairs towards their room. "What are you doing?" She heard Naomi shout from the kitchen.

"I'm getting you some pants. " She threw her a pair of jeans from the top of the stairs. "Get dressed; we're going to the hospital." She didn't hear any movement, so she popped her head out of the room to check on her. "Well?! Didn't you want to go see Cook like as soon as we woke up?!"

"Yeah but – I thought you'd stop me from going and – Oi! I'm the one who's supposed to be desperate to be there!" Emily was amazed at how much Naomi could sound like a five year old when the subject was James Cook. She half expected her to start pouting.

"Yeah well, I'm taking over. Come on get dressed and let's go." She ran back down the stairs, a pair of shoes in each hand and a bag in each shoulder. Food and their much awaited make up sex would have to wait, Cook needed them. Well, Cook needed Naomi and she had to make sure she was there with him.

A couple of minutes later and Naomi had managed to slip on her jeans as well as a pair of shoes. They were soon both settled on Emily's scooter and headed for the hospital.

-----

_A sort of ridiculous attempt of mine at Naomily fluff for the last part... Still not quite happy at how it turned out - but hell, I got sick of the angst. Needed a short break. :) So here it is, short but hopefully it'll make everyone feel a bit better. Probably more angst next chapter though, I can't really escape from it. Also, I just watched Pan's Labyrinth and after throwing several m-rated random Spanish curses at the screen (the Captain is about as horrifying as Foster in my mind, and the eyeless thing scared the shit out of me. I had to result to a pillow fort. Yes i'm a 18 year old hiding in pillow forts.) I feel quite angsty. On a side-note, Foster actually haunted me in my dream last night. So did Sophia. WTF._

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Skins. However, Mandy did attack me in my dream last night. She had joined forces with Foster. Sophia had to save me. WTF.  
_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Not entirely happy with my rendering of Katie, but it's not too bad I guess... Also, thanks for all of you guy's support - it's very much appreciated :) Also, sorry for being so late with this. I have been busy with moving out of my dorm and plenty of other stuff going on, so I'm sorry if I didn't update much lately... Also, I usually update a bit earlier on my LJ (for no reason, really) so feel free to check out the updates over there too :) right here: .com/_

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Skins. But they've seriously been haunting me in my sleep - should I be worried?_**

"_Falling, yes I am falling – and she keeps calling me back again" – I've Just Seen a Face – The Beatles_

Katie cursed loudly when her bare feet came in contact with the cold kitchen floor. The sun had started the rise out of the window; she registered while she moved around looking for a glass. She poured herself some water, not really paying attention to what she was doing.

She had only been in this house once before, and then it had been full of greasy looking revolting Goths who obviously had never heard of a shower or opened a fashion magazine in their entire pitiful life. No, cross that, it was safe to say that they had never seen a mirror in their entire pitiful life. Katie shivered at the memories, she still couldn't believe she had considered coming to that party let alone let herself be touched by those unwashed insects.

Disgusting useless shits.

Katie Fitch did not, and will not as long as she breathes, mingle with Goths. She wouldn't mingle with Goths in her death bed, let alone in her grave.

Katie sighed again.

What was she doing, this wasn't exactly the time for her brain to be ranting about Goths and other unspeakable individuals. But then again, she wasn't sure if her brain was functioning right today.

She had spent most of the night pacing around Effy's room, she felt helpless. Since she had last woken up, Effy had barely shown any sign of life. If Katie hadn't leaned closer to make sure she was breathing, she would consider herself certified to pronounce her death. She felt chills run down her spine as she remembered Effy's unchanging expression.

Her eyes were blank except for a wink of something that had scared Katie to her core when she looked into them. Something so inexplicably terrifying that she had been forced to look away in fear. Effy looked empty.

So she had paced around her room, trying to come up with any course of action, anything that she could possibly do to help her friend. She had exchanged only a few concerned words with Pandora, the girl hadn't wanted to leave Effy's side. Since Katie had shaken her from her sleep, Panda had barely even blinked, she just sat next to Effy holding her hand as if the power of staring alone would bring her back from wherever she was.

Katie had started to think it was hopeless. But she couldn't, she had to help Effy somehow. Any way she could.

She chugged the rest of her water before filling a glass for Pandora and walked back upstairs.

She handed the glass to the blonde girl when she walked in; nothing had changed since she had ventured down to the kitchen. She didn't expect it to, but somewhere inside she had hoped to see Effy fully responsive, her party clothes on and throwing Katie those infuriating knowing looks that told you she was reading your soul like an open book. Fucking bitch, Katie had always hated when she would do that.

"There's got to be something we can do, Panda." It came out almost as a whimper. She sunk down on the desk chair, she felt beaten. "Someone we can call... That could help her! Fuck's sake." She covered her face with her hand; she didn't want Pandora to see her crying. Again.

"But she can't go back to that funny farm – Katie! It's full of psychos and we don't her to slit her wrist again, do we? Or for someone to get whacked and fucked three ways with a bat like F – _they_ did, we just can't..." She trailed off; Katie could hear her sobbing loudly from where she was lying.

"Well yeah but we can't just not do anything, can we babes? We can't just leave her lying there!" She chose not to let her mind wander in the Cook-Freddie-Fuckster-Baseball-Bats whereabouts. There had been so much blood.

They had chosen not to wake up Stonem senior; they had hoped Effy would be slightly better in the morning as childish of a hope as it had been. They figured Effy wouldn't want to talk anyway and that her mother would only want to take her back to the institution and everything would be fucking fucked again. Fuck.

"We should call Tony."

"What? Isn't that Effy's really cool brother? Isn't he like super fit? The one who went mental or something?" She stared at Pandora for a while, slightly embarrassed at her outburst.

"Yeah he was right fit too, had a great cock and all..." Panda trailed off again. Katie wanted to smile but her lips just didn't seem capable of doing so. "Anyway, him and Effy were like super close, he was her hero, you know? Like she thought he was Superman by the way she talked about him when we met, said he'd been hit by a bus – gone mental – then he had to learn everything again and got super good grades at Cardiff too! Right smart he was."

"So, you reckon we should call him?"

"Yeah, I think Effy would like to see him, wouldn't you Ef? You want to see Tony, don't you?" Katie thought she saw Effy's eyes flicker for a split second as if the name caused whatever was still breathing inside of her to stir. But soon enough she was back to her marble state.

"Right." Katie stood up from her spot; she seemed to have regained some strength in her body and was eager to have something to do. She picked up Effy's phone from her nightstand and started browsing through her contacts until she found her brother's name. She decided to go downstairs so she could talk to him properly; the bedroom was starting to get suffocating.

"Whizzer." She heard Pandora say before she got down the stairs. She dialled Tony's number.

"What the fuck Effy, it's fucking six in the fucking morning!" A male voice complained on the end of the line. Katie took a big sigh before saying anything. She had to make this come out right.

"Hi, is this Tony Stonem?"

"What? Who is this? Where is Effy?"

"Uhm, It's Katie, Katie Fitch. I'm a – uhm – a friend of Effy's. You're her brother, right?"

"Yeah, is there something wrong? Can I talk to Effy?"

"I... She can't really talk right now. Listen, Tony, she needs you, alright? She needs you to come over."

"What's wrong, did something happen? Is she hurt?! – For fuck's sake – what is going on?" Katie could hear a hint of panic in his voice. She shuddered when she imagined the number of concerned calls about Effy he had probably gotten from his mum during the past year.

"She's not hurt, not exactly. Her boyfriend, Freddie, we found out last night that he... He died, he's been killed." The words burnt her throat as she spoke them. She couldn't cry, not yet. Effy still needed her. Tony was silent. "Our friend, Cook, went after him and he found his bloody clothes at this fucker's house, John Foster. Effy's psychiatrist. We think..." she swallowed a sob. "We think he killed Freddie."

Stunned silence.

"She needs you, alright? Effy fucking needs you so you better get off your fucking arse and hop on a train to come see her, we have no idea what to fucking do, she just lies on her bed... Just fucking come, will you?" Katie hung up before Tony could even respond; she didn't think she could stay on the phone any longer any way.

She walked into the kitchen again and let herself sink on one of the chairs. She rested her head on her crossed arms over the table. She felt drained.

Katie Fitch let herself cry for the first time that day.

Cook didn't remember much of what happened before they rushed him into surgery. He vaguely recalled waking up, seeing JJ sitting on a chair next to him his eyes closed and rocking his body back and forth.

Cook had reached to touch his hand trying as hard as he could to plaster a carefree smile on his face like he always did, a cheeky grin that let people know that nothing could affect him, how strong he was. If only they knew how weak he really was, though, the fucking weak cunt he had been not to be able to save Freddie, to find him earlier while he could still breathe, to really be able to punch the fucking life out of that fucker instead of just knocking him out before sinking to the ground himself.

JJ looked up at him responding to his touch, some childish innocent surprise flashing in his eyes as he did so.

"Cook! You're awake!" He looked down at him expectantly. Cook forced that cheeky grin on his face again; he had to seem fine for JJ. JJ needed him to be fine.

"JayJay, my man!" Cook tried to chuckle, but before he could even start a banter in which he planned to playfully make fun of JJ about pretty much anything; he felt a stabbing pain in his gut.

He felt his breathing grow harder and harder, he couldn't help himself from writhing on the spot at the agonizing pain that had shot through his nerves. He didn't want to scare JJ, no – he had to be strong. He had to be strong for them. He tasted blood in his mouth as he let out a few painful groans of pain that seemed to slit his throat open.

He barely heard JJ calling the nurses, a hint of desperation in his voice, as a pack of them rushed in his room attending him with more and more tubes, more drugs – anything that would make his pain better.

He couldn't hear them anymore when they discussed his surgery with JJ next to his bed, his eyes were flickering in and out of sleep and he found it hard to focus on everything around him. But had to be strong, he had to stay awake.

A couple of nurses still seemed to be rushing around him preparing him for the intervention. He couldn't help but notice one of them had very nice bouncy tits and told her so in between sleepy cheeky grins. She had smiled back obviously embarrassed and he made a mental note to get her number as soon as he was out of that fucking place and back on his feet.

Next thing he knew they were rolling him out of his room when he spotted a flash of blonde hair running after him. It was Blondie, his favourite muff-muncher. Something inside of him suddenly jolted at her sight, it made him feel better somehow, calmer and relieved that she had made it before they opened him up. Who knew what could happen in there, and really only she knew how much of a weak fucker he was. Only she could understand him.

"Naomikins..." He remembered himself saying, almost whimpering as he tried to force that smile on his face.

"Cook! Cook – it's going to be okay, Cook, I'll be here alright, I'll be right here waiting for you and you better fucking come back to this room alive, Cook – Or I swear I will chop your balls off."

He tried to chuckle again; it came out hoarse and muffled.

"Hey, I'll be back for some willy-waggle, yeah? Now, don't get your knickers in a twist, get busy with your muff-munching girlfriend while you wait for me, yeah babe?" It was the last thing he remembered saying before he saw a smile flash through Naomi's features. Soon, he was out again, out into a dreamless sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: One more! I wrote this last week under a caffeine high in the middle of the night. I was supposed to be studying for a final, but Chris' motto kept going around in my head so there. Fuck it. I wrote some more fanfiction. Also, I apologize again for only posting this now, turns out 'fuck it' might not be the best advice. haha but there we go. Cheers!_

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Skins. What I do own is a massive cup of coffee and the wavering conviction that I should be studying_**.

"_I'm told that people like to call us dreamers__, b__ecause we won't ever stop until we've done all we can do__. __There are so many things I haven't seen__, __so I'll look 'till I just can't look no more"__– Alex Day, No More_

Emily eventually caught up with Naomi, prying her away from the door through which they had taken Cook, forcing her to hang helplessly behind.

She tried her hardest to protest against her girlfriend's grip, but as pocket-sized as she was, Emily managed to calm her down and take her back to Cook's room. Naomi stumbled into one of the empty chairs, feeling her body sink into it as she finally felt her exhaustion take over her body.

She kept her eyes closed for several minutes, trying to forget as much as she could – she couldn't worry for Cook. He had to be okay, he had to be fine. He had to come out of there with that huge obnoxious grin of his that just said _'Everything will be alright, muff monkey' _and then she would get to chop his fucking balls off for scaring the living shit out of her by pulling all that fucking shit off.

She tried to focus on Emily's hand on her arm, tried to focus on her sweet memories of her vibrant red hair sprawled against her pillow. She tried to remember the way she looked when she slept, the way her naked body would curl up under the covers and she would unconsciously inch closer and closer to Naomi during the night. She tried to remember her jokingly annoyed face in the mornings when she would complain about Naomi trying to take the whole bed, sprawling her arms and legs in various directions. She remembered how she would then curl back under the covers and they would just both cuddle there for as long as they could, eventually running out so they could get to college in time.

It felt like it had been ages ago though, since they had been so comfortable around each other. It had been months since they had been able to love each other freely, to just be together in every possible way. Quite frankly, it had been months since anything good had happened to any of them. Truly, their lives had been some shit this past year.

Except maybe JJ's. Well, until now that is. Until about two days ago, he had been living the perfect – or almost perfect- fairy tale: a lovely girlfriend, a baby (it was still hard for Naomi to wrap her head around that but fuck it, the boy was happy), basically a normal and happy life. Naomi envied him sometimes, she envied him when he first showed up with Laura – _was it Lara?_ – in her house. Emily and her were still so monumentally fucked up back then.

Naomi blinked a couple of times before opening her eyes. She couldn't think about her relationship now either, she figured the best she could do was try and stay in the now. Try to feel whatever she was supposed to feel.

As she thought Emily was sitting next to her, caressing her arm as if that were enough to take all her worries away. Naomi wished it really were enough. JJ was sitting not too far from them, his head was buried in his hands, his body seemed to be rocking slowly back and forth.

Naomi was however surprised to see a fourth person in the room. On a chair against a corner of the room sat Karen, her hands tightly wrapped around an empty cup and her eyes wide which seemed to be staring into nothing in particular. Her face was red and puffy and Naomi suspected she had barely stopped crying or slept since the night they heard about Freddie.

The brown haired girl must have felt Naomi's curious sad stare and looked up at her.

"Hi" she greeted, her voice sounded hoarse.

"Hey" was all Naomi could think of answering back. They all seemed to fall silent again, Emily had moved away to look after JJ who seemed very close to a nervous breakdown.

She hesitated for a few moments, unsure of what to do. She really barely knew Karen, had only really met her a couple of times before, so she was at a loss of how to act around her in this situation and was quite afraid of saying or doing anything wrong. But then again, this whole thing was just fucking wrong.

She slowly stood up from her seat and moved her chair closer to Karen. Not really thinking, Naomi awkwardly patted the girl's arm in what she hoped would be received as an act of sympathy.

"How are you doing?" she asked, cautiously. The girl looked up at her and she could see tears start to well up behind her eyes. Karen quickly looked back down at the empty cup in her hands, clutching it harder between her fingers making the plastic crack.

There was silence again. Naomi let her hand rest on the girl's arm in an attempt at comforting her.

"I got here just when" she sighed "they were taking Cook out of the room, into surgery I guess… How's he been doing?" She looked back at Naomi briefly; the subject of Freddie was apparently to be avoided at all costs.

"He's fine, I think… I mean, they say it's going to take a while, but he seemed fine yesterday after his first surgery. Something about broken ribs and punctured organs and shit, a whole fucking lot of bleeding too but -…" Naomi paused, he had looked fucking terrible. He still did and whatever they were doing to him now couldn't possibly be reassuring. "Now with more internal bleeding I guess we just have to wait and…yeah."

"He'll be fine. He's Cook for fuck's sake." The brunette said, flashing what seemed like a sad and failed attempt at a smile.

"Yeah, well, that prick's always fucking fine, isn't he?" Naomi answered, sporting an equally failed smile. It was a bit ridiculous that the girl who had just lost her brother was the one trying to comfort her and not the other way around. However Naomi didn't trust herself to bring up the subject afraid of the girl's reaction.

Instead, she took one of her hands in hers and held it there while they waited. It wasn't much but it seemed to offer them both some kind of comfort and grounding, a simple form of companionship and understanding.

They didn't speak again for several minutes. Naomi let her mind wonder as she held on to the girl's hand. Emily seemed to finally have calmed down JJ and they had both gone downstairs to get some tea and some breakfast for all of them.

Naomi looked over discretely at the brunette sitting next to her. Her eyes looked pained yet almost drained of any emotion, as if she had cried everything she had left inside. It made her heart break to look at the dark bags under her eyes, Naomi was certain she couldn't even being to imagine the kind of pain Karen was going through. She could only hope she would never have to experience it either.

"You should go home." She said, genuinely concerned with the girl's health. "Try to get some sleep. As you said, Cook will be fine and I'll stay here waiting for him anyway. You should go home, it'd be good." Karen looked up at her and it occurred to Naomi that it might have sounded like she was kicking her out. "I mean, not that I don't want you here, actually I appreciate it and I'm sure Cook would love to know that you came, I mean – you can definitely stay if you really want to" _Stop fucking ranting, Naomi. You're making this fucking more awkward. _"But yeah you look like you could use some rest, I'm sure he'll be fine…"

"It's fine." She said, and Naomi was glad to be interrupted. "I… I can't go home."

She stared at her for a moment, holding her hand a bit tighter before looking down at her feet.

"It's too empty, you know? With… without _him_ being there. The shed is all… It's just too empty." Naomi felt her hand shake slightly under her grip. "Dad is at the police station, sorting stuff out… and I just couldn't bear it, to be there – or stay in that fucking empty house. I couldn't bear it, you know? It's all too _him_." She sobbed under her breath. "So I… I walked around, didn't know where to go and it all just fucking reminded me too much of _him_ and I just…couldn't get away from it. So I came here, thought I'd see Cook, thought maybe he'd understand… He was all he had, you know? God knows he was all _I_ had."

Naomi nodded, clutching a bit harder at the girl's hand as she felt it trembling more violently and her body started to shake as the tears ran freely on her cheeks. She wrapped her arms awkwardly around her; trying to offer anything she could to make her feel even the tiniest bit better. Karen hugged her back immediately, clawing to her back as she burrowed her face in the crook of her neck letting herself fall apart in the empty room. Naomi realized she had started crying too.

Eventually, the sobs and tears wore off. They held each other for a while longer as they waited for any news on Cook.

Emily and JJ were soon back with a tray of what seemed like everything remotely eatable she found in the hospital, she really had not been kidding when she'd said she needed some breakfast. She smiled sweetly at the blonde before setting the tray down and trying to make them eat something.

Naomi gave up soon enough; well more like realized her resistance was futile when Emily all but shoved a full jam sandwich in her mouth quite forcefully at that. Karen simply nibbled on a slice of bread, finishing off another cup of tea the redhead had brought her.

The four of them remained seated in a comfortable yet tension-filled silence as they waited. There was little any of them could say to ease their worries and sorrow, so they just held hands for what seemed like days as the hands on the clock against the wall dragged by painfully slow.

Katie jolted out of her chair when she heard the impatient knocking on the door.

It had been several hours since she had phoned Tony and she was growing tired of waiting. She had helped Panda with Effy as much as she could, not that there was really anything she could do except lie there with the two of them, intermittently going downstairs for a glass of water. She hadn't dared to leave; she was the strong one and couldn't bring herself to leave the two of them alone.

Anthea had eventually woken up and Katie had the painful task of filling her in the night's events, as well as to watch the horror wash over the mother's face. She saw her eyes flash with shock, distress, sadness and finally a deep and nerve-wrecking worry about the mental state of her already fragile daughter. There had been some hatred in there too, as she cursed her way up the stairs towards Effy's room.

It was probably directed to that foul excuse of a psychiatrist that, as far as Katie was concerned, could pretty much either fucking die of a violent, slow and painful death or spend the rest of his life sharing a cell with a ridiculously huge sexually abusive inmate named Tiny. She wondered if they could request such an arrangement to the police, as some kind of legalized torture who knows. The fucking tosser sure as fucking hell deserved it.

She had spent the rest of her day trying to calm down Stonem senior, fill and refill numerous glasses of water, and thinking about what they could do to help Effy. They needed to fix her, any way they could. Even if she looked so fucking broken.

So when the door bell rang, Katie was quite relieved that she had an excuse to pull her thoughts away from Effy even if just for a few minutes. The emptiness in her eyes seemed to be consuming her inside too.

She opened the door, sighing tiredly when she remembered that she was probably looking like shit someone ran over and left to rot. She had barely slept in the past two days and her outfit was not the most comfortable or attractive. Effy's t-shirt and jeans didn't look too good on her but it was all she had dared to change into, after Anthea had insisted both her and Pandora got into something more comfortable if they weren't going to leave. She couldn't remember the last time she had cared this little about how she looked but at the moment she really couldn't give a goddamn shit.

Even though the guy every single one of her friends talked about before she started college – the super cool and fit Tony Stonem – stood still astonishingly handsome in front of her. She would probably have blushed in embarrassment at her attire, but the urgent worry in his eyes and the seriousness of the situation made her forget everything else.

He looked at her slightly confused for a second; he had probably expected to find his mother standing by the door not a random stranger he had never met.

"She's upstairs." She moved away from the door, not allowing or daring to say anything else. Introductions would come later, Effy mattered more now and she needed him. He nodded briefly at her before running inside and up the stairs to his sister's room.

She was about to close the door when she realized someone else was standing outside, looking hesitantly at her. It was a tall brown haired girl who looked slightly familiar; maybe Katie had seen her around before even entering Roundview. Possibly a cool friend of Tony's. They stared awkwardly at each other for a second before Katie motioned for her to come inside. It wasn't her house but the girl came with Tony and she could only assume she was as welcome in this house as herself.

She closed the door behind her. She shuffled on her feet for a second considering going upstairs to check on Effy but decided not to, they needed some alone family time. With, well, Panda.

"I'm Katie. Katie Fitch, a friend of Effy's." She stuck out her hand at the stranger, someone had to break the fucking awkward silence they had settled in. Introductions would probably help.

"Yeah, I'm Michelle Richardson. Tony's girlfriend." They shook hands, forced some sort of smile on their faces as they greeted. Michelle looked up, apparently genuinely worried for Effy too, probably also considering going to check on her. She seemed to come to the same conclusion than Katie.

"Tea?" Katie said, making her way to the kitchen. All they could really do right now was sit and drink more and more tea. She put the kettle on, the girl had settled on the dining table resting her head on her hands. She took a sit in front of her, she was exhausted.

"How's she doing? I mean, Effy." Michelle finally broke the silence, staring straight into Katie's eyes now.

"I don't know." She sighed. She might as well be honest if they were going to sit there by themselves. "She hasn't done much. Just staring into space… We don't really know what to do." She wasn't sure how much information to disclose though, was unsure on this girl's familiarity with the family – how well she knew Effy or even how long she had been with Tony. Michelle nodded.

"It's odd, you know?" She said, breaking the silence again. "I've known Effy for years, since she was just a kid really. I've known both her and Tony for ages. She was always so quiet, though, didn't say anything to anyone. But, she looked like she could see right through you, you know? Like you couldn't hide anything from her and somehow she just understood everything. It was so easy to talk to her and tell her what you were thinking I sometimes surprised myself. But I never thought… Maybe I had seen it, but… Maybe we should have known more, about her you know…Listened more to what she wasn't saying."

"No one could tell, really. It's Effy, she's always fucking mysterious, isn't she?" Katie tried to smile at the girl in front of her, lightening up the conversation. Didn't work much. She didn't really expect it to.

"Yeah, she is." Michelle nodded again, trying on a fake smile as well. She seemed lost in her thoughts again. Katie could see the worry in her eyes, the care she had for Effy. She had obviously known the family for longer than Katie, seemed very close to them – to Tony at least.

The kettle signaled that the water was ready and Katie poured them both some tea. They settled back into a now comfortable silence. Katie's mind wondered in the few memories she had of Effy, the ones before everything turned to shit. Between her being a total bitch, the rock-incident, the stealing Freddie from her part and their surprising if not unexpected reconciliation, she had very mixed feelings about those memories.

But she still cared, something inside her cared deeply for this girl who had harmed her in the past. Something inside just wanted to protect her against everything and everyone now. She looked so broken. Effy looked so fucking empty.

"You know she helped Tony and I get back together back in college?" Michelle broke the silence again; she had obviously been lost in her memories too. Katie looked up at her allowing her to continue. "Tony told me later, I'd thought it was him back then. But he told me a few months ago, when Effy first had to be…" she sighed. "He told me what she did. It was real sweet too. Our relationship had somehow gone tits up, completely fucked up really. Then he was hit by that fucking bus and I wasn't there and it was just shit. But then when he got better, we still couldn't fix things. So Effy did it for us. Organized some romantic gesture, made it look like Tony did, and I eventually forgave him. She used to say she didn't believe in love, that caring was just a waste of energy because people just fucked you up anyway. But she always cared. For Tony, at least. She cares for him so much. I guess she just hated showing how much she cared for people."

Katie smiled. Effy did use to look like she would rather than show that she cared for anyone, that's what had started the whole fucking thing with Freddie anyway. It had gone royally tits up too, monumentally fucking tits up in the most unimaginable of ways. Just when Effy had decided to show how much she cared, how much love she had to give… It had been taken away from her. Katie winced at the thought.

"She had started to show it though. For Freddie, she really did love him." She said, Michelle looked up from her cup. Apparently they were sharing stories now. Katie didn't mind, it was nice to talk, tell people about it, talk about Freddie for the first time in at least two days. Probably longer since he had disappeared.

"It took her ages to admit it, you know? She wouldn't allow herself I guess. Fucked things right up, the fucking bitch ended up hitting me with a fucking rock because of it." She tried to chuckle lightly signaling to her new acquaintance that she had no resentment over the incident, making sure she knew she was trying to make a joke. "But she did love him in the end, and she had decided to live it fully. Then he just… It just all went to fucking shit, you know?"

Katie had the sinking feeling that they were talking about an Effy that no longer existed. About someone that they had once met but would never see again. The thought terrified her but the emptiness in the girl's eyes had scared her to the bottom of her soul and she was afraid she would never be able to come out of it.

The two girls sat in silence for the rest of the time, exchanging a few thoughts once in a while. Katie got around telling Michelle exactly what had happened, she felt obliged to seeing how close the girl seemed to be to the family. Tony apparently hadn't told her much. Eventually, Pandora joined them. Tony had been left alone with Effy and Anthea was trying to phone their father, they could hear a few loud curses echoing through the hallway as she told him to get his ass there.

Thomas stopped by a bit later to pick up Pandora, practically carrying her out of the house so she could catch some sleep and a shower back at home. Katie thought she should probably do the same. She said a quick goodbye to her new friend, after sitting and worrying together she could say her and Michelle were some sick sort of friends now.

She stopped by Effy's room before leaving, checking on her one last time. Tony was cuddle up in her bed, holding his sister so close it looked like she would break. Katie couldn't see her eyes but she didn't think she could bear it anyway, so she just picked up her stuff and promised to be back later to see how she was doing before leaving.


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N**: What? The LEAST I could do was give you guys a few chapters. Also, I'm still afraid of baseball bats, and you know...strap-ons and stuff. Anyway, I already have a pretty good idea for the two next chapters so that shouldn't take too long. I am, however, back home with my parents, my sleeping schedule has thus been disturbed. Apparently,no, it is not okay to go to bed when the birds start singing in the morning and only wake up for lunch. Also, yes - one must exercise every I have to get used to that._

_**Disclaimer**: I do not own Skins, sadly._

"_But it makes me feel much worse than this to see your face mussed with a frown" – Pandora Moon, Don't Be Down_

Naomi was truly getting restless. The medical personnel was quite frankly being a royal pain in the fucking arse and no matter how much she told them to just shove it up their tits they would release just about no information whatsoever on Cook's state.

Fucking useless wankers.

He had been brought back from surgery but this one seemed to have been a bit harder on him and the access to his room had been ridiculously restricted as he was under constant medical surveillance. She had quite frankly tried to bribe one of the nurses but all of her attempts were met with something like '_he's too weak to see anyone now, he has to rest, he is unstable etc, etc,.._' and something completely shit about her having to be his fucking mum to be able to get anywhere near his bed.

In short, nothing fucking reassuring at that and not even the nice nurse who had assisted her the day before – _Nancy, she remembered_ – could do anything about it. As a result, they had to sit in the fucking hallway. _Brilliant. Jesus fucking brilliant._

She found herself lashing loudly a renewed chain of any kind of foul curses and swears her enraged brain could possibly come up with for the hundredth time that day. She faintly heard Emily sigh next to her as she started pacing around and glaring at any one in a white coat that would dare to look at her in the eyes. There were all fucking tossers for all she cared and she dared them to reprimand her for her cursing, it would just be an excuse to yell at them some more and release her growing frustration over being left in the complete utter dark.

She groaned loudly sinking back on her chair, her feet tapping restlessly on the ground as she crossed her arms over her chest. She was about to go on another rant about the complete shit doctors, ranting and cursing really did help her pass the agonizingly slow time, when she was interrupted by some other loud and familiar cursing.

"I'm Katie _fucking_ Fitch, what the _fuck_ is your _fucking_ problem?! I just want to go see my _fucking_ friend, you wanker!"

Naomi felt like she could have hugged the life out of Katie Fitch. That tosser of a male nurse she was arguing with had been a total dick to them all day, really just interested in watching whenever Naomi and Emily stood a bit closer together as if expecting them to publicly jump each other at any moment. So she was glad Katie was now cursing him too.

And then, right when Naomi thought her appreciation for Katie couldn't possibly get any weirder, the male nurse slipped. Instead of focusing on Katie's insults and other arguments about needing to see her friend, he had let his attention slip towards her cleavage for a few brief moments. Fatal mistake.

Naomi thought she could have kissed Katie _Fucking_ Fitch when she heard the resounding bitch slap echoing through the hall.

She was soon stomping towards them; Naomi could still see her fuming and cursing under her breath at the incompetence of the hospital personnel. Or more like _"fucking white-coat wankers who think they know fucking everything, wanking tossers – walking dicks – GRR." _As she could decipher through Katie muffled swearing. Emily had covered her face with her hand and was shaking her head slowly from left to right, she seemed torn between a desire to laugh and a certain exasperation at both her girlfriend's and now her sister's behaviour.

Naomi felt herself smirk slightly when she caught Katie's eyes getting a small smile in return, before crossing her arms again and glaring venomously at the male nurse as he hurried pass them.

"What the _fuck_ is their problem?" Katie burst as she sat obviously still upset on the chair next to Emily.

"They're fucking perverted dicks who won't let us get anywhere fucking near Cook. It's fucking ridiculous, it's what it is." Naomi blurted out, preparing herself for another chain of swears that were ready to fall from her lips.

She heard Emily sight next to her. She was about to open her mouth probably to say something about how Katie and her just needed to shut the fuck up, but seemed to retract in an afterthought.

"I'm going to go get us some tea, yeah? You two be _nice_ and you'll get news sooner." She kissed the top of Naomi's head and squeezed Katie's hand before walking away down the corridor.

Naomi and Katie looked at each other awkwardly for a moment, she was unsure of what they could talk about.

"How's Effy?" She settled, maybe avoiding hospital-personnel bashing could be a good idea. Katie looked away from her though, letting her eyes wander around them for a moment before answering. Her voice sounded tired and pained, the concern was strikingly obvious and seemed to clutch at Naomi's insides.

"I don't know, Naomi. She just lies there, you know? Won't do anything, not even to let us know whether she's fucking alive or not, the stupid bitch." She heard Katie sigh next to her; it looked as if she was carrying a truckload on her small shoulders. "Her brother came back to be with her. I think... I think she'll be fine, if he's here. They're like really close, you know."

It occurred to Naomi that she had never seen Katie this frail, this pocket-sized. She had always acted as if she were the strong, the indestructible twin. Naomi knew it wasn't true though, she knew Emily's strength and determination; she knew it must have at least matched Katie's if not surpassed it. But she had never seen Katie fall apart, she had never seen her that close to breaking.

She could tell she didn't want to let it show though; Katie fucking Fitch would never let others think that she wasn't in control. And she needed to be in control, after what had happened Naomi thought that all Katie wanted to do now was to be in control of something. But she was as helpless in taking care of Effy as Naomi was with Cook. Everything was slipping away from them; at least they had that in common.

Naomi was about to say something that she hoped would make things a bit better when two men who seemed to work at the hospital walked by them whispering excitedly to each other. One of them eyed the girls unashamedly, a perverted look on his face, before winking at Naomi and licking his lips in what seemed to be an attempt at something seductive.

His friend pointed at Katie's breasts before saying something about "muff-munchers" and some "girl on girl action" they might be able to catch if they stuck around.

It took a moment for Naomi to realize that both her and Katie had stood up from their seats and were standing in front of the men with matching venomous glares on their faces, ready to pounce on their neck. They probably felt provoked for different reasons, but at least it would help them both release some of their frustration.

They latched down on their terrified faces. Katie placed a magnificent bitch slap across one of the men's cheeks as Naomi simultaneously threw a carefully aimed kick on the other's balls.

She heard Katie shout something that sounded remarkably like: _"I'm not a fucking lezzer and I wouldn't fuck that bitch – you fucking dick!"_ but she didn't pay much attention as she focused her energy on lifting the writhing man up by his ear while he held on protectively to his crotch.

Naomi prepared herself to shout something about where she would shove his balls and limbs once they were violently detached from his body if he ever got his precious tiny cock anywhere near her when her train of thought was rudely interrupted.

Nancy had popped her head out of Cook's recovery room, looking at them quizzically as the two men jumped to their feet and ran away from the two very furious girls.

"Naomi? He's awake; I think he wants to see you."

"_And I'd rather see you in a party dress, than in a hospital gown"__- Pandora Moon, Don't be Down_

Emily stuffed her hands in her pockets as she strolled along the hospital's corridors. She allowed herself to chuckle for a moment at her girlfriend and Katie's reactions. The two of them really didn't realize how alike they could be, it was pretty ridiculous of them not to get along properly.

Things had been a lot better since Katie moved in with them, she reckoned, but then again she couldn't really tell. It wasn't like she had spoken much to Naomi then; she had only been able to appreciate Katie's honest support. Surprisingly, her sister hadn't tried to convince her to leave or to engage in a violent bitch fight with her girlfriend. Katie had instead been patient and for the first time since Emily could remember, she had let her do what she wanted and had tried her best not to interfere.

Of course, Emily had caught the occasional disapproving glare every time she came home late after a night out with her new "friends" or Mandy; they really were just some random people she could go out with to take her mind off things. She never cared about them and she knew they didn't care about her. Except for Mandy, Mandy cared and Emily had just been using her, using her to test how far she could go on hurting Naomi before one of them broke down. Testing how much it took for either of them to finally fall apart.

But they had both been unbelievably stubborn, refusing to break or to leave. Emily hated herself now for pushing them, for testing how strong they really were. She had almost broken them for good, if Naomi hadn't come back to pick up the pieces, she would have lost everything and part of it would have been her fault for straining them so much.

And Katie knew, she always knew what she was thinking. And she didn't say anything just glared and sometimes shouted at Emily for being too wasted or fucked up and about how Mandy looked like a _fucking baby-eating giant and that, really like, she was just a bitch_ - but she wouldn't _say _anything. Emily sometimes wished she did, wished she would slap her again just so she could _feel _something again.

Emily could feel herself drowning in the painful memories but anything seemed pretty bleak now, as she walked by the white hospital walls. Cook was hurt, Freddie was fucking dead and Effy seemed irrecoverable. Yeah, anything next to that seemed insignificant now and she would give anything to get her mind off her worries.

She was snapped out of her thoughts as she caught two police officers talking to a doctor to her left. She saw a couple of nurses roll a bed across the corridor in front of her, pulling it inside the room directly to her right. She chanced a quick glance at the man in the hospital bed and felt her breath catch in her throat.

She had barely seen him back at the house, but the view stirred the same sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach she felt before, this had to be him. His eyes were swollen shut now, she could see a few suture points around his face, and his jaw looked broken. One of his arms was embodied in plaster as well, there was a tube coming off the other probably allowing the morphine to flow into his veins.

She didn't realize she had been staring until one of the nurses nudged her on the side: "Excuse me, Ms."

She was about to move over to let her pass when a thought crossed her mind.

"How is he doing?" she asked, she didn't really care whether he lived or not. But she felt like she needed to know anyways, she needed to know that somehow he was worse off than Cook like he deserved, she couldn't bear the thought of this man walking upright from this hospital in a couple of days while she couldn't even tell if her friend was ever going to wake up. "I'm, hum, an old patient of his. I was just – I heard he was here and I was visiting a friend in the hospital, so I thought..."

"It's okay, honey." The nurse smiled up at her before looking back at the unconscious man lying not too far from them. Emily thought she saw a flash of something like disgust run by her eyes but they quickly returned to a nice composed state. "He had quite a few injuries, but it seems that the young man who fought with him only used his fists. He had quite a remarkable strength though."

Emily had to conjure up all her strength not to smile at that, Cook could be pretty strong indeed.

"He had a broken nose and jaw and a few other broken bones. It seems like he received a pretty hard blow on his left eye though, he'll be partially blind..."

"Oh."

"There was some other less important but equally permanent damage in other regions of his body, but I am afraid I do not have the freedom to discuss that with you, sweetheart." She smiled apologetically at her.

"Thanks." Emily choked out before the nurse left, hurrying to attend some other patient.

She saw one of the officers approach her then, an imposing look on his face.

"Miss, were you an acquaintance of his?" He tilted his head towards the man in the hospital room.

"Euhm, I'm a friend of Effy Stonem's, Emily Fitch." She figured the best thing to do was to be honest with the Police, lies wouldn't help Cook's fate and she was determined to do anything in her power to avenge Freddie and help Cook retrieve his well deserved freedom. "I was there the night it happened, I mean, I got there after the police. I gave my statement already."

The officer nodded at her. He didn't move though, as if he expected her to say something more.

"Can I... Can I ask you, how is the case going? I mean, you know – Cook, he shouldn't be punished for this. It was self-defence, he can't go to jail for that, right?" She tried to remain calm but she could feel herself getting slightly agitated. The officer looked at her for a moment before responding, he seemed to be weighing his words.

"It seems like it's self-defence, yes. From the evidence we have gathered up to now. James Cook was indeed beaten with 's baseball bat; we have been able to match the blood samples. He, however" he nodded at the room next to them "seems to have been beaten only with fists. Your friend Cook is a pretty strong bloke, I must say. He did some serious damage with his hands. But by the looks of it, Cook acted entirely in self-defence. He'll have to get a good brief with his previous charges, though."

"What about Freddie? Aren't you going to lock this man up for that?"

"We're still gathering some evidence, but we found his bloody clothes in the house. And, it seems, there might be... It seems Foster owned an empty piece of land not too far from his house. We suspect that...he might have buried his body there. Our men are still looking."

Emily swallowed hard, looking down at her feet. She murmured a small thanks under her breath. She tried to gather her strength not to cry, it wasn't time for her to break down. Not now, not yet. Not while Naomi still needed her.

When she looked up, the officer had returned to his work mate and they both left after dismissing the doctor. She heard them saying something about sending another officer up to look out for Foster, make sure he didn't run.

Emily dared herself to look into the room, at the man who had caused them all so much pain. She was startled when his eye darted open to meet hers. She thought she felt her heart lodge in her throat as she composed herself, willing not to show any sign of fear.

"You're the other twin. You're a friend of Elizabeth's." He said, staring straight into Emily's eyes. It sent shivers down her spine, and the chilling feeling in her gut returned. There was something incredibly wrong in his eyes, an emptiness, something that she just couldn't place and it scared her to the very core. But her anger was stronger, so she forced her body to appear composed and calm, allowing her feet to inch a tad closer to the bed.

"And you're John Dickhead Fuckster." Her voice was cold. He didn't flinch though, instead he smiled.

"Doctor Foster."

"Oh, I don't think you're still a doctor, John, in fact I don't really think you'll be anything at all from now on, will you?" He didn't look down.

"I did what was best, for her. I think... I think she's something I'm proud of. Yes, she's something I can be proud of. I found a way to protect her; they didn't deserve her. No, they didn't. They were killing her. She needs someone better than that."

"Better than what? Better than someone who would die for her? Die for his friend? For the people he loves?" She didn't know whether she meant Cook or Freddie, but she didn't think it mattered. "What, you thought she deserved someone like _you_?"

His look was almost hopeful, she could see the desire in his eyes and she had to fight the urge to hurl all over his bed.

"They were nothing."

"_You_ are nothing." She could taste the venom in her mouth as she spoke. "You know. I'll tell you something, John. Freddie loved her. Cook loved her. And the two of them, they fucking loved each other. And you know, when people love each other it doesn't really matter whether they're gone or not. You can still feel them around, I know Cook can still feel Freddie close to him. 'Coz he is, you know, he's with Cook and his sister and his dad. But you wouldn't understand that, would you? No, I didn't think you would. Thing is, John. Effy loved Freddie too. And she needed him. And even if he's gone, he'll always be there with her and that's something you can never take away."

She turned around to leave, looking back at him one last time.

"One last thing, before they send you to your shared cell where – hopefully –some huge guy will fuck you over. You killed Effy. They didn't. If she's dead right now, if she's dead inside like she appears to be. If she can never come back to us, to herself. That's on you, John. You killed her. They didn't."

When Emily got back to Cook's room, she couldn't help but smile. The fucker was finally awake and currently having some sort of wrestling match on his hospital bed with her very own girlfriend. She heard Naomi shout something that sounded like she would chop his fucking balls off and stuff them down his throat if he ever pulled that kind of fucking shit ever again, punctuated by faint punches on his healthiest arm.

She saw Cook laugh, his particular loud laugh that just filled an entire room with its resounding sounds. He ruffled Naomi's hair, infuriating her beyond belief as she shouted at him some more about how irresponsible he was and how he should never scare her like that again. But the blonde couldn't fight a smile off her face and couldn't stop it from growing even wider once Cook suggested some _non-lezzer willy-waggle. _

Naomi wrestled with him as he appeared to have regained part of his strength. Emily saw Katie laugh on the other side of the bed at the ridiculous scene in front of them. She seemed to be trying to keep her distance from them but was forcefully pulled in the wrestling by Cook and he ruffled her hair too, shouts of "_Katiekins! You're here – ya? Wanna join in the willy-waggle, roommate?" _echoed by Katie's indignant cries of help and anger.

Emily couldn't help but chuckle at her friends' unlikely playfulness. She felt something grow inside of her, fill in the emptiness her recent encounter had left within. It was hope, hope that maybe – just maybe – maybe they could all heal one day. Yeah, they would be okay. They had to be.

_**A/N**: I had a conversation with my friend trying to decide what should happen to Fuckster, the idea of Tiny still very welcome. But yeah, we figured he should be blind from one eye and lost any function on his genitals. And like, other stuff. Just so you know, that's what's really going through my mind. Even though part of me feels sorry for torturing someone like that, he deserves it. Tiny is lonely._


End file.
